Here's a picture of me from last night's scrimmage, playing jammer.
Last night was mixed, for sure. At the beginning of practice, the team did a 27-laps-in-5-minutes pace line, and I couldn't keep up, so I dropped out and skated around the outside of the track. That was the wrong thing to do, I guess. Next time I can't keep up with a pace line, I will skate around the inside of the track instead. That way I'm still more engaged with the drill, and I can re-join if I manage to get up to speed.
I know 27 laps in 5 minutes isn't that much faster than 25 laps in 5 minutes. I know I have to be able to skate at that pace if I want to skate in bouts. (Obviously, there's not much that I want more!)
For some girls, passing minimum skills probably means they are pretty much ready to bout. It doesn't mean that for me. I don't think many people really expected me to pass. That's OK, I didn't either. I knew it was going to be a near thing either way. What that means is that it may take me longer to get up to the level I need to be at for bouting (which is above the level I needed to be at to pass min skills). I hope the trainers will be able to be patient, as long as I'm giving 100%.
A month ago I couldn't do 25 laps in 5 minutes, and now I can. That's something, right? I think it is. I think it means that if I keep pushing, and keep going to four practices a week plus doing cardio outside of practice, I will get to where I need to be.
OK, some good things:
- Last night we newly-advanced girls got to scrimmage (we had thought we weren't going to). It was fun, though of course I did a few dumb things. I need to find a way to be fearless on the track. I need to find a way to think, "OK, Kant is going to hit me. Fuck it, I'm going to hit her back," instead of "Oh shit, Kant is going to hit me!!! Run away!!!!!"
Wait, I was going to say something good. :-)
OK, last night during the scrimmage, in the last jam, I was the jammer for my team. They sent out all of us new girls, plus a couple of OGs to fill out the teams. I managed to get through the pack three times!! That means I would have scored ... well, I don't know, possibly as many as 12 points for my team, I think. That's pretty damn cool.
- I lost two pounds last week. I have been losing weight thanks to derby, but I didn't really start tracking my weight until a few weeks ago.
- I'm not giving up. Not by a long shot.