So, last night, I made mistakes. Let's just get that out there right now: I made mistakes. I'm not going to talk about them here, but I want anyone reading this to know that I don't think I was Beyonslay last night, or anything.
Here's what went well.
I had energy, for the first time in a couple of weeks!
I did my best to stay with the pack, with my team, and to make contact, even if the contact wasn't entirely effective yet.
The penalties I got (well, two of them; I'm not sure what was up with the third, a major for cutting the track, when I think it should've been a minor) were errors of aggressiveness. One was blocking when I was out of play. But: I was just going after the jammer and getting in her way. OK, I should've stopped. But still. Errors of aggressiveness are so much better than just standing there with my finger up my nose.
My other penalty was for blocking out of bounds. Now that one ... oh man. I hit the jammer. I hit her *out*. If I could've stopped and not followed her out, it would have been beautiful. But once again: error of aggressiveness. So much better than if I had just stood there and watched her go by me.
There were also times when I was a real pain in the ass to opposing skaters (or at least, I felt like I was). There were times when Cruel Anne yelled at me to hit someone, and I did! Now I need to work on making my hits effective, in action (they are often effective enough when we're just doing a pace line or some other drill).
Honestly, there really were glimmers of hope last night. So, that's awesome.
As a wise friend of mine suggested, I am going to try to learn from the mistakes and let them go ... and focus on the victories.