I'm having a hard time these days.
Passing minimum skills was awesome. And I *did* pass: I can do all of the minimum skills (though my crossover and my booty blocking are borderline).
Now I am in the bout pool (technically I am on the B team ... it's not like they are going to put me on the roster for an A-team bout). And I've gone from being a pretty good intermediate to being the worst in the bout pool.
I can't keep up with the pace lines. (The minimum skill is 25 laps in 5 minutes; but the pace lines are often quite a bit faster than that.) In scrimmages, I get confused and have a hard time focusing. My teammates are literally yelling at me to hit someone. I know they are right, but often I just can't quite pull it off. I don't know if it is a lack of speed or a lack of brains. Or both.
Here's the thing: I am the slowest girl in the bout pool, hands down. And I have to get faster. It's not going to happen instantaneously. Jesus isn't going to come down with his magic wand and make me fast. I have to find ways to work at it. (I have some ideas on that subject.)
A lot of times, I know where I need to be; I just can't get there fast enough. By the time I get there, the opportunity has passed. I guess it's good that I know what to do (sometimes).
I don't want to be the load. I want to be useful. That's all: just useful. I don't need to be a superstar. Just not a burden.